Wednesday, 15 February 2017

"I'll sue ya"

 


Where'd you learn how to Steer?
IYou do eighty in second gear
When you drive, I can't relax 
Got your license from Cracker Jack
You just hit another tree  
These fender benders are killing me

She drives like crazy
Like noone els
And I'm afraid for my life 
They'll put you behind bars
We're not playin' bumper cars
Did a great figure eight....
In the middle of the interstate

Tires squeel wherever we go
Even hitchhikers just say no!
She drives like crazy
Her car's a mess
She's got a death wish I guess
She's a demon
Behind the wheel
Thinks she's drivin'
The Bat Mobile
Passin' "semi-"s on the right
Now my knuckles are turnin' whit
💖She drives like crazy
She'll break our necks
She drives like  crazy
And I fear for myself.

Aww I should a been a lyricist and married ALW LOL
Well the day has been slow since mum broke her toe. Bless her she keeps trying tonslw to get the
pain away.
So...you take lithium too? Don't in make you more stable? In muy case my soh is wicked, playful and grateful to all whose helped me. It does NOT make  me violent, I'll be a staff member having
volunteer work for homeless people soon. This I could never have done without my meds, as you all
know I used to live in a shelter, this is my chance to give back, with pure love and empathy.me. if you
take lirhium please iinbox me! they have helped! how about we all meet up for a pub crawl sometime in the up near future? Let's allantalk and meet and greet in person?


It's funny, what I've written above totally explains how it feel to be stuck in a car on a long ride
knowing the person driving probably couldn't walk a straight line...

And that's with no booze!
I'm  making light of this because I can't  do anything else.mive done crying about Hell inncalifornia.
white knuckle ride in a different country. Mum was so apparelled when I explained how I was feeling
so close to death and so sick to death of weird untrue stories of mortals giving her a car crash 3 times in one week.,.. Call me weird, but from what I saw the blame would never lay on anyone else.

I'm trying to go deeper into faith, I'm starting to believe the church I attend is not all it seems.
people could be transparent, and loyal to their loyal congregation it would be great.  I remember Elim
being much better, a hands up to God and you could not only see the live but feel theri excit I wish I could have let myself go instead of being guarded
I hope my new faith choice which is something I want dearly will be the answer. I'm feeling more comfort as a human with real feeling. Especially if it rains!


And some songs ep are for us - those with mental illnesses and this who still let go in a good sway, after because we are who we are who we are !!!!!!!


Before that here's somethings also relevant! I've turned into the Wild Child I've always dreamed I'd

be again







This song reminds me of my love of rain.
Always found blessings amd calm sent by nature, life and God. So does Enya.







  We are who we are! 






























Thursday, 9 February 2017

Don't get my sympathy hanging out the 15th floor






We get knocked down, but we get up again - you're never gonna keep us down.






To all of my HH family, you are perfect to me xxx








You're gonna hear me ROAR!!!








I've had another good meeting with my cpn, now I have to say, this post may contain strong worded memes (LOL) and maybe songs unexpected.
This is because my cpn, who was so helpful, said I have to nurture my inner child, perhaps more now than ever. I'll just call her she. He says she's still innocent, but we must try to find a balance between her trusting everything said to me, and making her aware that I must become more aware of the dangers in life, the sickness of others that is plain evil, and learning more about myself.
So I'm letting some of my emotions out here, about people, about life and myself.
I'm glad to say I'm doing so well mentally, that I couldn't even break IN to the lakes even if I wanted 
to lol. Any nonsense about me being sick is complete lies by someone sicker than anyone I'd even met during my stays in the lakes.    
It feels good to know I'm not nuts, freeing, and a feeling of pride.
He says I've been through so much recently, and, well, it's fab!
To anyone who says I'm nuts (you know who you are) here's a meme for you! Thanks D for the stolen meme lol.















And here's a shoutout to my restless inner child! I think I will travel again this year! A real adventure!









And my "God will judge you" child!
















































LOL:



































Yes I'm into putting up movie monsters right now lol.






If you've made it this far....congratulations lol, I'm very into everything at the moment, and now it's the turn of memes! 
I should say in over a month I may be hai g my interview to help the homeless, something you know s close to my heart! I'm really excited!!!!




My son says hello!!! 
Love ya's xxxx



"Get up and see the sarcasm in my eyes!"


















Thursday, 2 February 2017

Yes! I do feel better!



A lovely song Aabove I thought of this morning while my cpn was here!

"I feel well enough to tell you what you can do with what you've got to offer"

   

Well, this mornings chat with my cpn was great, we talked about my trusting to wrong people too much. I must agree. He had said it before, and we went through the "dome" thing - thank you! He says I'm progressing greatly as my nightmares are not as frequent.
We also talked about an 'unknown' classed by the people in authority here as "dangerous" and The Lakes are now hanging up on her every call! It's so fab to know the place where I'd found comfort and sometimes hostility (usually from my own mind before I was put on the right medication that really have changed my moods for the better....no good for my waistline though! Haha!) 
I've been told, and I have got to agree, that she no longer has a hold over my life, her words about me are not taken seriously by anyone here I the mental health etc places as they had already known I didn't have it in me to Physically harm anyone, unless it was a dire life threatening situation. 
I didn't even know I was incapable, I had always considered myself strong and ready to fight but 
frankly, when someone is doing everything to make you hurt them, and you've been told by them they 
live for the next lawsui (and with it some sort of more infamy) you know what would hurt them to the core....by NOT hitting them. And it doesn't take a smart person to realise this, as I'm not!  It
So what's done is done, I'm happy. Happy where I'm in a safe place and know for sure that various places here and abroad have my back. 
So I'm going to put up eclectic videos that I love, because my cpn is happy with me and my progress, that the mental health team are, too. That I actually do have a life, took me a while to realise it. That because of the  "dome" thing I'm ok,  and I look forward to the future! Thanks goes to my mates on and offline,  the people who have my best interests at heart, those who also understand me. 
Ps, mums been put on morpbine pain patches and is not sure how it's going. Bless her.
And..
Anyway....
Don't slow down - you're gonna crash!















I found my Savannah in Britain! 








"You'll be fine as long as your pretty face holds out, then it's gonna get pretty cold out"









Sunday, 15 January 2017

Party Like A Russian


Well, after a while of trying to get back to normal, my family (including my Facebook/friends family) have helped tremendously. Everyone who has messaged me with words of hope and inspiration really egged me on to finding peace. I had found it by getting home Christmas Eve, and over that and the New Year. I'm still having horrible dreams, but at least they are dreams and not reality anymore. Even if I can't sleep for a night or two, or if I wake up ridiculously early because of what occurred with that weird woman, I take comfort in k owing my life will go on, and now even better than it had been. 
Ive decided to celebrate and party like a Russian lol, without the vodka, of course 😄😄 Its good I can listen to good songs again!








So if it turns out I need therapy because of all the trauma I will take it and see the end as 'graduating' once again!
M







Btw here's my new lawyer card given to me by a fantastic genuine man!!!!
























Nah it's ok, I am happy, have my freedom and life is great with my mum and all. I'm getting my wicked soh back to where it should be, being closer to God now more than ever, I don't think He would blame me for finding life funny again! 
Would love to see my sis. She's another star to me. 




That's okay because....






Take care love to you all xxxx












Thursday, 12 January 2017

All tricked out for a trip that slid into a spin from Joyce McKinney to hope


The song above is for Joyce McKinney, it sums her up.
You do you know you can't phone the mental health Trust to pretend to be caring about me  (and they know you're pretending btw) and then say you're going to sue them because they know you're a nutter and won't give you the information you are asking for. Go on with your threat to sue them, you will be destroyed!!!!






Hi anyone reading this, 
Last year was hard, the end of it was horrifying then Devine with my Mum watching the drunks at the Loco we kissed and huggled seeing the New a Year in. After we watched  Robbie Williams singing doing his best performance yet. Heaven. We thanked God for getting me out of the situation
and the lies about me beating up the elderly lady. Funny how I was igoven a room by the able dale police to another (better) motel and not
once, not even now have I been interviewed by the police or Interpol etc, I doubt the British Embassy
would have paid for my flight home and ring s couple days before New Years to see how I'm feeling.


Actually, the enormity of what she plans to do to certain people, her vitriol for blacks Mexicans and
Jews and the way she treated the drive thrus she believes everyone working there are beneath her.
They are making a living and that's a great thing.






What Joyce looked like before she got wS fat as me (size 22-24)










Then












Now?!


What Joyce looked like to me both inside and out, her many personalities came through, this is the 
main monster in the horror comedy House, William Katz I love you!!!

This is how I imagined I was sitting on front seat and she was half dead putting our lives 

 her dog at stake. A relic.



Ps you're floor is caked in dog shit and you enjoy living in shit.

The quirky ideas she had planned before I stood up to her abuse... One night she wanted us to go to a
strip club and strip. Could you imagine two fattiess getting even a dime?! She wanted me to go to her
local and favourite sed shop in Glendale where she'd bought a vibrator that is supposed to hit her G-
spot. She would need it, she keeps advertising for rich submissives and she doesn't seem to see





herself as old and fat.





Making me pee infront of everybody  daily really made me feel like a dog. However, it started to rain, and every time it rained feel Jesus near me. You May find that weird, but intake comfort in train, it was as if God made it rain to A warm me I needed out of this unwilling submissive and that I will see
home again. So I enjoy storms  and embrace them, bit Elim not. Going to live in Florida!!!



I'd love to live in a house in the rainforest!!!! Only if it had wifi and TVs lol!!









How I would have loved this road trip!!!!


"It's hard to be gentle and warm"











Yrouble is, despite her being a sex offender, I feel very sorry for her too. She told me "they"  tried to pun the Bipolar label on her once, I don't k know if that was when she was in Holoway Prison or later. She a,so has the traits of a sociopath, you k ow, fake empathy ad superficial charm. I'm not saying she is one, but I know bipolar when I see it in front of memory that's I do of myself. . Or maybe she's still a child emptionally that she thows tantrums.








I would have liked dto help her, it takes s certain kind of madness to have a floor to ceiling dog cage
and then let tej lut so the pee and poop on diiscarded newspapers and be happy we how the room in
the Econo Inn.

I see you hurting, that they found your nude pics  uyou escortingand then "allegedly" raped and raped a younger
man by with the help of KJ.





She's still after him. Especially on Facebook "Horton Cooper profiles)




I would have tried pyo help her find a home, make her happy. I thought all the worlds problems are on hr shoulder and as a good friend.  But she was more interested in getting me to be her submissive slove. Obviously I believe she has a problem . I knew it as soon as a I had to make room to sleep in

second bed but when you were nweee and asked me to you you in your bed inhav to say no.I can't fix her, big I wish I could have.


















This would have been her Christmas present,Along with socks lol. 

A few Hollywood style songs and things with special meanings.















And it takes a lot of courage  to try to understand an ill woman is ilso find you are facebtomfavebwith an old woman who is so nuts more so than anything you ever done.and her confessions stunned me. My rock is ,u mum, who had to listen to an angry Joyce and mum gave as good as she got!!

I'm so glad to be home although I haven't slept in aware I'm having terrible nightmares, like when she
opened the shower and had a good look at me.shen I was allowed to change my ssnitary pads you
made me do it in front of you.




But I digress, seeing mum again was like seeing my guardian angel.


She talk to me so sweet and listened without crying in front of me but I feel your bide, your empathy,
 your pure love and knowing I was abused she was so happy I survived the degradation and cruelty, this song hoes for you xxx








One song I listened to when I was on flight was this, i was hoping to see so many different 
thing.,unfortunately I was not allowed out of the smelly room or heated cars











I e been lately thinking about my life's time...








I'm beginning to believe. I could b a great traveller. Explore things, adventures, the America. Way of life (which I mostly love) and maybe Scandinavia and meet my pen pal Ully!! Life is full of opportunities and I may have one coming up! A job! More about that later.  


























But I leave this post in a positive way. Despite all the hassle and abuse I've been put through, I'm wiser. Yes one day I will live in Ameeica! Or a sunny country that still has lots of rain! (Can anyone think of one?) I'm closer to God, and once I get the dentures, mew ones since Joyce has mine, for some unknown and probably unsavoury reason, I'll be out and about, maybe a jet setter?!  I'm applying for s volunteer job which would be great. As I have personal experience in this.

Hope you are all ok! Love ya's xxxx
Ps here's a song that cheers me up,  I am big in Japan!!