Saturday, 24 October 2015

Love and Anger (and being discharged from a MHU)

"It could take me all my life, but it would only take a moment to tell you"

Yesterday I was formally discharged from The Lakes MHU.
After a weeks leave. 
It was actually hard saying goodbye to my consultant doctor, who has been nothing but kind to me.
My fried took me there, and we were in reception 2 odd hours until being seen by her, despite almost all (if not all) nurses in the ward passed us knowing we were there waiting, I guess they Gita get their own back somehow!  

 We discussed a few practical things, like me giving my notice in to my landlord  and 
Looking for some kind of supported housing first before thinking of mobpving into my mums again,
They seemed to agree, the people in the room. 
The thing about my doctor there, and a reason why I chose this song, is she is excellent and knows I need a huge amount of therepy.
She was easy to talk to, though not shy in challenging you, but listens intently 100% focuses on you and any solutions there are.
I couldn't tell my sister, and. I could not tell a priest. But I could tell her.
(What would we do without you?)
My point is, she was there. Working hard every day. Approachable (if you weren't scared of wasting her time as I felt I was).
This song describes my thoughts and feelings and I imagine her reactions are the other verses.
Thank you, expect a black scarf for Christmas lol.

Thursday, 22 October 2015

Everyday is a winding road

He was high on intellectualism. 
I've never been there, but the brochure looks nice.

Pushing on through life when then winding road is uphill and without any form of transportation unless you feet count!
But pushing for that horizon.

Tuesday, 20 October 2015

Calling All Superstar Wonderful Weirdos

 all superstar wonderful weirdos

What is normal? I have no idea anymore. I am embracing my weirdness, and my quirkiness, my lack of hair, my leaving behind toxic relationships and turncoat friends.
I have you, dear reader, as you try to understand me but accepts me for whatever I am, the "complex" Lizzie.
I will write more about my time under section 3, which has now been rescinded! 
But I found this song and thought it describes many of us, either in the past at school, or now at school.
We are survivors and we don't need to fit in.
Embrace yourself!

Saturday, 17 October 2015

Echoes In Rain

I apologise for not being able to update my blog for a while.
I got manic then very low, and was sectioned twice.
I'm on weekend leave but will be officially discharged on Monday.

The stories I could tell of the mental health unit I was in, the staff (most of whom were pleasant), the clients (patients) and treatment. But most of this should be left out of this blog and maybe published elsewhere out of respect to those still suffering and of course, their privacy.
I will say I am glad to be out of  my "cell" as I called it. Many people too ill to know what is even happening around them, and one or two of the usual attention seekers.
At the end of my stay I remained on my own, devoting my time to my music and writing, Joyce Meyer, my friends and the Bible.
It was best for me to withdraw and focus.

So my big day out was lovely, the local coffee shop welcomed me back with open arms as they were aware of my situation.
I felt so loved.
Being around town after no leave on section 2 and  3 was particuarly difficult for me. I have trouble being in crowds and it didn't help being unsteady on my feet with the lithium and other new meds.
Childhood trauma has almost ruined my adult life but I'm pressing on. 
Not just for myself but for my mother and friends who have been such a great support during this time.

But today had a huge positive, I've ordered Enyas new album out soon, she is one of the few voices that "calm me right down" and her new song, well I hope it brings you the hope it brought me this afternoon!
You can't go wrong with a bit of Enya in your life!
May this song bring you some peace and comfort, whether you are in a good frame of mind or going down the ladder fast.