Thursday, 18 February 2016

Live To Tell

I have a tale to tell.

Yes, I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
I will tell it, one day, or a few days with my therapist when I get one.
It's hard for me to cope with this, not being able to say here all that happened, and possibly not even being able to tell my therapist either.
These horrid things, they sometimes creep up and can eat at you. You can almost, or do, vomit. Or choke. 
You physically feel as you did when you were those ages the things happened.
Believe it or not I have learned to forgive.
I urge anyone who has faith to read this book:
You will be moved. The author is a friend of mine who has helped me with kind words of encouragement and advice.
I'm not plugging this book, it really has changed me,
The hurt I still feel, but I read and realise I CAN forgive and I have,
You can, too.
I may even feel healed one day. 
I know I will never forget the torment I endured. But I'm on my way to being happier in myself and I'm beginning to grow as I start slowly to rebuild my life step by step. 
I imagine in a couple of weeks I will be out and about.
If you see me, don't mention the abuse, just say hello or give me a smile! 
I will return it with a glad heart.
Wow this was tough,
I hope the music video shows the emotion we all feel.
Love Lizzie xxx

Friday, 5 February 2016

Enjoy The Silence

Today in 1990 Enjoy The Silence rang in my ears.
I'm being quiet at the moment because I'm in the middle of a project. 
I took part in The Time To Talk day, which was a bit quiet and interrupted by a troll.
But that was then. 
My dear friend Pauline contacted the mental health team about the cpn's lack of contact with me and surprise surprise she is coming to see me on Tuesday.
I intend to ask about seeing a consultant again as my mood dips pretty low since she took me off antidepressants.
I'm hopeful. I have to be.
But since the relevance of this song was brought to my attention today, I watched the video (words may be unneccessary yet relevant!)
And the King travelling alone having everything he needs yet still words hurt so he desires to be alone and look around him in beautiful isolation.
So in tune with my current situation and the anniversary of the song that summed up my youth, here it is! 
Enjoy (The Silence) until Tuesday!