Sunday, 26 June 2016

Love and Mercy

Love and Mercy.
First off I'm a huge Beach Boys music fan, so the other day I watched on to the Love And Mercy biopic of Brian Wilson.
Music has always been my lifeline, from the moment I knew about melodies then as I grew a bit older, the music combined with lyrics would stir something within me. A survival mode, maybe, certainly and escape. An escape from bad things I could dance or sing and then when I first heard Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush (my brother had it on cassette - remember them?!) I discovered poetry and literature. Before I was put on medication I was once a pretty good poet. My works would have ended up in a book from a competition in high school but being the awkward kid I was I declined it. 
So back to the movie, which touched me deeply, there was a song on it I wanted to send the link to Cassandra. the strongest woman I know. We were talking this morning and I thought I'd put it here for her to listen to herself, since emails don't often work for her. 
"So, love amd mercy to you and your friends tonight". Well, love and mercy is what you need Cassandra, you are a child of God and the apple of His eye. Don't forget that in your darkest days.
Plus this song is for anyone struggling, too, and this moment. We all need someone and sometimes as I found out this week the person I thought was my friend here never really was, or can't understand lithium level problems or possible early menopause, and perhaps she doesn't care to know either, so I'm going back to innocence, not the innocence where I believe someone blindly anymore, I've had enough of lies. But innocence knowing wherever I go, there's a destiny. I don't have to give up anymore, nor does anyone reading this. If I keep giving up after a fair weather friend can't accept my decisions in life, then at least I have real friends who I may not see, but know are there. And they know I'm there for them, too. 
Things might be looking up for me right now, but I still never forget real friends, those in trouble, or in need, those treated like crap by people because they are "different", those caught up by nasty individuals ready to take advantage of them in any kind of way, because you are loving, kind, decent and SPECIAL to me. Every one of you.
Remember what we all need, love and mercy, and if someone is the opposite of that, cut them out of your life and realise the great qualities you have and the beauty you possess both inside and out.
LOve and Mercy to you all, love Lizzie xxx


Thursday, 23 June 2016

The Sunshine After The Rain

Hi friends! How are you all?
I've not been online much at all, I've been quiet sick with whatever is going on with my lithium, so another blood test next Tuesday.
But I'm not here to complain, I'm here to say how some people have given me such hope recently. One is my friend L! How I can't wait to meet her! The thought that after all these years we could meet   once again gives me such joy.
The second is a new but totally a friend for life. We have some things in common and she is so kind to me over the phone or by text daily. She has such a spirit, not broken after so much has happened in her life, too. This song, has the song I'd love her to hear and dance to, knowing the sentiment is how she has got me to feeling. Like she said about me, what happened to me in my life, the atrocities, 
really, are not my fault and the mental health people are happy to dispense drugs for my reactions to 

the things that happened to me. They are the ones who labelled me, yet I can't continue to accept all 
they say as fact. Do they have words for the rapists apart from " those who did such and such a thing to you" rather than in a way, labelling me for the lifelong consequences of their horrid actions. 
I'm trying to to move on with her help, shall we call her Cassandra. She's helping me with my agoraphobia, too. I went out for a coffee before the doctors the day after she told me a bit of how she copes when she feels she can't go out. Cassandra, the song below is how I feel since we met each other, thank you. 

Below is a song of my childhood that has the best line I've heard in a while, and speaks to me, all women who have been hurt in various ways, and how we are strong enough to survive. "You took it all, but I'm still breathing" this songs for you,too, Cassandra.

Next is the song that I listen to everyday, by my favourite Irish singer Enya, as I dream of taking Cassandra and L on a trip around the world, who knows, it might happen!!

And this song, well this is if I ever get my passport and Cassandra and I will dance to it!!

Yes, life is becoming great again, physically I may be feeling ill but spiritually I'm full with love for life again, I have always admired strong women, always wanted to be one. Now I'm becoming the woman I was meant to be with these two ladies!
I feel hope, and i will continue to help others. Steph, if you are reading this I would love your idea to go ahead, but I have no credit left to text!!!
Lyndsey, your package with gorgeous yarns arrived today and I'm so very grateful as will everyone who received the scarves in Winter, you both mean so much to me, too.
In fact everyone who I know, I love! I just can't manage being online to chat yet. 
If anyone else wants to help Stephanie and I and hopefully many other s with the scarves , please contact me, 
Until I'm back online fully, thinking of younall and sending positivity your long last!!!
Love Lizzie xxxxxx

Sunday, 12 June 2016

Let's skip to the good bit

The past is gone but something might be found to take its place.

Last night and past few weeks like I wrote, many emotions have come and gone. I've decided to post about the good emotions, or the good lyrics/music.
I've been speaking to a dear old friend of mine, who I might be able to put a pic up later if she will allow me. This lady, is the nicest human being I've ever met, she has her own fair share of problems, and we used to be flat mates. We fraught a few times, usually when I was ill, bug we've never lost contact. I love this lady. I'm going to see her where she lives now no matter what. And why not? We haven't seen each other in years and we can go silent on each other when we pare not well. But what

a sign of friendship that we don't mind our silences and we wait until we can talk, no pressure and no

ill feelings. That's true friendship. One year, on my birthday she left her residence (where she was normally cocooned) and even though she was as sick as anything came on my special day, I've never forgotten that.
So here are some songs that I was was once told by a friend of mine I the Facebook HH page to do when I am low, and just thinking about putting these up are already making me happy. These either inspire me, make me ponder or make me laugh.
Hope you enjoy them, too
Love Lizzie

Ps Thank you so much for the Rhubarb, Jo!!

You can't run away forever, but there's nothing wrong to get a good head start...

Swinging from high to deep, an honest journey through music

I've gone through every emotion there is recently. The bad and the good. So expect a few music videos to help describe what my thoughts are.
First off, is a song that if you listen and understand the lyrics you will see how I don't know where
I'm headed.

I fear I have nothing to give (after video watch others to feel my moods)

I've listened to this song on repeat.

Have I been lost, blind, inside my mind? I often feel like a break, a week or a weekend away, my wonder friend has invited me to another part of England where she is living, and I feel I could one day go and take lotsa photos as the people watcher that I am, except take part in life, participate not just view? Can I do this?

I feel less procrastination and try to think of goals:

Then all of a sudden I think of this:

Which inspired me to do this :

Then I think of this as I think about what lies ahead:

Then there's me, the one who never knows what personalities will come out in any given situation. The personality disordered mind that changes like the wind and no one knows what to expect

But I leave you with an upbeat song that I'm listening to constantly at the moment, it's starting to give me strength. I replace the Love" with "life" and the faith to carry on.
So those are/were my thoughts, and this is my future,.....and yours, love and live, from Lizzie


Thursday, 2 June 2016

Let's help the homeless this winter!

I was. At first making a crowdfunding page, however I started to hallucinate, seeing things that weren't ther pe and in a panic I asked for the page to be deleted, thinking I would be unablenyoncarry this out. But The Halstead Gazette were kind enough to do an article about how it helping the homeless through the Salvation Army to hand out my handmade scarves this Winter. Please read THe Halstead Gazette Article

Included here are some photos my mother took with just a few of my scarves.

Please think about helping.myoundont have to help me if you don't want, but maybe you can help

people yourself some other way.

Thanks Lizzie xxx

I've received an email from a lovely woman to help me with yarns, who I intend to write back to when my iPad stops acting weird.
And I received a message from Mark Byron!!!

It's not that far...

Be strong, serve God only, know that if you do, beautiful heaven awaits...